Basic Modeling Skills are for Basic Bitches

It’s that never tiresome topic of “basic modeling skills,” again. Recently, a colleague wrote an insightful blog post about the problem with slinging the term “basic modeling skills” around. If you’d like to read that you can click here to read “Not so Basic Modelling Skills.”

I do suggest you read it, it’s a solid argument on the topic, but the contents aren’t really important to continue with this post. What is important is that, like these topics always do, this one brought out the “basic modeling skills” virtue signaling Wanksocks; which is always fun. I mean the Wanksock’s mascot went as far as to call it “the stupidest thing” he’d ever read. Bold comments coming from someone who couldn’t get through thirteen minutes of a video without saying “um” and “uh” seven-hundred times. Besides, I’ve seen what this dude posts in Facebook groups. Surely he’s read some of his own comments at least occasionally?

The reaction has got me wondering, though. Why do these guys have such a fucking hardon for “basic modeling skills?” And what I’ve determined is they are basic bitches.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are some basic things you need to know how to do to successfully build models. Like the article linked above, I would ask…what’s basic? But it doesn’t matter. The basic bitches will tell you. It’s filling and sanding. That’s it. That’s all it is. Filling with putty and fucking sanding. How do I know this is the only fucking thing they consider basic? Because it’s all they talk about when the go on their “basic modeling skills” rants.

You have to remember where this shit comes from. It all started when some modelers had the audacity to give honest reviews of kits.

Yeah, it’s the same ole conflation bullshit. Nothing new. But it always ends with a few of the basic bitches screaming about how you just “NeEd To LeArN tO uSe ThE pUtTy, DuFuS!”

So, what makes these basic skill worshiping bitches so basic? It’s all they have, and it’s basic. They’ve realized they completely lack the artistic capabilities to make a model interesting with painting and weathering, so they build their whole modeling identity on their ability to do the most mundane, simple tasks; the ones that require absolutely no talent. They are proud of their mastery of the basics because they have no advanced. They are basic bitches.

Just like Candie with an “ie” can’t fucking think for herself when she’s shopping for shoes and ends up at the Starbucks getting her basic coffee wearing her basic Uggs, these idiots can’t offer anything unique to the world of modeling. And they’ve apparently figured it out, so “basic modeling skills” has become their own little slave morality. That’s a wasted analogy because it requires a reading level higher than “Clifford the Big Red Dog.”

I’m going to go to bed and dream of all the awesome comments telling me to kill myself the basic bitches are going to leave from fake accounts. Stay advanced, homies.


Scale Modelings Greatest Disappointment: Hobby Boss’ 1/32 B-24

What a time to be alive as a scale modeler; at least that’s the perception. This is especially true if you like to build in the manscale and have an affinity for heavy bombers it seems. We all knew HK’s Lancaster kit was going to drop (after they already kicked off the market demand with their B-17s). But it was a real shock when Wingnut Wings came out of left field and announced their own Lancaster kit which looks to be destined to take the mantle of greatest injection molded kit ever.

The Hobby Boss B-24 hasn’t been as much of a surprise. The TrumpyBoss tag team has kind of been teasing this one for years (along with some other high demand 32nd projects). It has actually become kind of an inside joke in the industry – much like AMK’s failure to release their F-14 – but not nearly as fervent simple because TrumpyBoss doesn’t toot their own horn like AMK has.

Continue reading “Scale Modelings Greatest Disappointment: Hobby Boss’ 1/32 B-24”

They are Just Ideas, Dummy


The other day I posted an editorial in which I proclaimed scale models are toys. Naturally, not everyone agreed with me. Some people just shouted how I am a dumbass failing to provide any real argument against. Others were able to more constructively verbalize their disagreement. And of course, there was a whole plethora of guys that just missed the whole point of the blog post completely; like “teh basic SCAIL Modler.” Although, (s)he has some of the dankest memes ever, so I’ll give a pass.

Then, another modeler, with his own Facebook page, asked The Scale Modeler’s Critique Group if kit collecting, or stashing, is a part of the hobby, or another hobby entirely. And, while I think this topic has merit, it was more a particular response that got me thinking about this particular blog post.

Matt, over at Doogs’ Models, identified kit stashing as an extension of the hobby; in addition to compiling references, decals, and aftermarket. Point being, we only spend so much time at the bench on any given day; provided we can even make it to the bench everyday. So, these other activities are an extension of the hobby we all love.

And that’s the case with my blog. And I would assume it’s the same for anyone with a blog, YouTube channel, Facebook page or group. It’s a way for us to enjoy the hobby through outlets other than just building. So, what’s the point, Jim?

A blog’s purpose

Or, at least, my blogs purpose is to spark debate. I am trading in the currency of ideas. You may note that the tagline for my whole site here is “the hyperbolic scale modeling blog.” Why? As much as people like “teh basic SCAIL Modler” want to believe, it’s not just to stir shit. No. It’s to spark conversation. Why do I declare with such fiat something like “model kits are toys?” It’s because I am challenging the community to enter dialogue with me on the issue. It’s about the discussion of ideas, numbskulls.

This is just who I am. I am deeply philosophical, and I am trying to bring that to the community and hobby I love. I am not trying to alienate people who have different opinions. However, if you scream “utter bullshit” at me as your only counter argument, yeah, you’re going to get pushback. I am an educator, so I expect when I challenge your beliefs that you defend them, and that you do so intelligently. Sadly, some people lack this ability.

Ultimately, we are all just dealing in thought and opinion. Sure, I could be more diplomatic in hem-hawing around ideas. My thesis instead of “model are toys, get over it” could be “maybe models are toys, let me tell you why I think so in the most limp wristed, unconvicted manner I can so I don’t upset anyone.” The latter is not my style. It doesn’t even mean I truly believe the first. Someone good at debate can argue either side. Maybe I argue the side I know is going to be less popular so I get more of you to engage in thought?

Simply put, this blog has a number of purposes:

  1. Engage the modeling community in the debate of ideas.
  2. Share the hobby I love with other hobbyist
  3. Get fucking views

If you can’t add all three of those together and understand why my topics are designed to get people talking, then you probably don’t have a successful blog. And if you can’t discuss ideas about a hobby without being offended, it says more about you than me. I am not attached to any of these thoughts, and I am willing to discuss them. I hope more of you can be more open minded. I can’t always be at the bench.

Ultimately, there are those that just aren’t interested in ideas, or the exchange of them. They are the ones who will bitch about these types of topics posted in the group. They are intellectually lazy and would just rather see photos of your half painted stupid scale whatever. That’s fine. Sometimes, though, they should just practice the art of shutting the fuck up and scrolling on.

While you may hoard kits to engage in some way with the hobby and it’s community, I blog, and I get people to question things. They are just words and ideas.

Imagine if Plato had just been told to shut up and stick to discussing boys in the Greek baths, or whatever.

Models Are Toys. Get Over It.

So, this hilarious piece of “journalism” is floating around the modeling communities stirring up fake outrage.


Now, let’s not dwell on the political nature of the article for too long; other than to say it’s pretty silly. However, it’s from one of the UK’s printed toilet paper substitutes, so would anyone expect anything less? The absurdity of it all is that other than Airfix kits, UK journalism is probably the second biggest embarrassment to the country. Never-mind the fact that Airfix’s “sickest toy ever” has to be the unending stream of cancerous esoteric bullshit British airplane kits.

Continue reading “Models Are Toys. Get Over It.”

The Danger of the Amateur Modeler

In my last post I called out the modeling cabal for their inherent need to perpetuate the cycle by which manufacturers and the modeling media separate you from your money with shitty kits and then expect you to shut up and take it with great thanks.

I actually just posted that article about 2 hours ago and it’s already had meteoric success. You’ll be seeing this one a couple days removed from that one hitting the internet, but the butthurt is already very real, and the reason is because “professional modelers” are starting to rightfully fear us amateurs. Continue reading “The Danger of the Amateur Modeler”

Pallbearers of Mediocrity

Parts One and Two of my “Three Pillars of Critique” have been fairly popular since I’ve posted them over the last week. Blog view numbers have been soaring, and they’ve already become two of my most popular posts ever. This is somewhat a shock to me. I mean, the value people put on constructive criticism has not been lost on me over the last year and a half as the popularity of The Scale Modeler’s Critique Group has skyrocketed, and we’ve become the most substantive group on Facebook. But for every modeler out there that accepts the benefit of critique there seems to be just as many Pallbearers of Mediocrity.


Continue reading “Pallbearers of Mediocrity”